


Save Rock and Roll

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: MST3K Alternate Universes [9]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Gen, blatantly stealing other people's OCs, with permission of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 12:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12557608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: When half her band quits right before they're supposed to go on tour, the last thing Kinga wants to do is hold auditions to fill their parts. Max knows they have to do it if they don't want their careers to tank. Luck strikes when a pair of twins walks into the practice space.





	Save Rock and Roll

**Author's Note:**

> So... I've been writing a lot to do with Smits' OC Ray. And I went to a concert Friday night and walked out with the majority of this already outlined in my head. It's random and cute and idk, it was fun, there may be more of it.

"This is the fucking worst," Kinga muttered, taking a sip of what had originally been Starbucks but now was mostly whiskey. "I swear to god I'm going to murder them when they have the spine to come back to this continent."

"You're not allowed to kill our ex-bandmates," Max said, sounding more patient than he felt after seven hours in a room with his increasingly aggressive lead singer. 

"They ditched us a month before a tour we've had scheduled for a year. I can and will kill them."

"Yeah, but they did it for love, so..."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. They can't be in love and in the same band? They had to quit to go elope? Nonsense." Kinga slammed down her cup on top of the piano and ground the heels of her hands into her eyes. "Fuck. What time is it?"

"It's just past eight. Come on, we're almost done for the day. One more audition and we can call it quits." Kinga was the face of the band, but Max had always been the one holding things together when her volatile temper rocked the boat. Hard to salvage it when she rocked so hard that half the band went overboard, though. He hoped that Terry and Synthia were happy on their impromptu European honeymoon. They'd left the rest of Lost In The Woods in quite the lurch by taking off. Suddenly a full band was minus a drummer and a bassist. Filling one would have been doable. Filling both, with time ticking down before they were supposed to hit the road on a coast-to-coast tour, was... if not impossible, then definitely agonizing. "Come on. Last one, then we can go get sushi and you can bitch as much and as loudly as you want to. Just be nice until then?"

"Whatever," she said. "I'll be nice if they don't suck as much as everyone we've seen so far." Max shook his head and walked across the room to peek out into the hall.

"Next," he called, and went to sit back down. The door opened and a very tall man came in... and then he came in again. Or rather, two identical faces came in with slight variations. The one in the lead had glasses and a scruffy face and a bright yellow hoodie zipped to the throat. The one following wasn't wearing glasses but had dark circles under his eyes, was clean-shaven, and sported an open black button-down shirt over a skull-printed t-shirt. They had identical messy hair and the same hopeful smile.

"Hi," the one in the front said. "I'm Jonah and this is Ray. We're the Hestons."

"Nice to meet you," Max said, shooting a glance at Kinga, who had sat up straight when the second Heston came in. "I'm Max, she's Kinga--"

"We know," Ray said. "We've been to your shows."

"Oh, you're fans?" Kinga said, already more warm than she'd been with the past seven auditionees. Jonah bit his lip and glanced at Ray, whose smile faltered for a second before turning back up to full brightness.

"Sure," he said. "I mean, you play at a place we frequent a lot, but we do dig your music."

"Oh." Kinga sat back and shrugged. "Okay. What do you play?"

"Everything," the twins said simultaneously. Jonah pointed at Ray. "He plays anything with strings, basically. Guitar, bass, violin, cello... ukulele... "

"And he's a drummer primarily," Ray said, pointing at Jonah, "But he plays guitar too, and piano, and-- well, probably not useful for you, but he's pretty mean on the hammered dulcimer."

" _Dulcimer_?" Max's eyes widened. Jonah shrugged.

"Our parents took us to Renaissance Faires when we were kids, I took a shine to the instrument. Definitely not the kind of music you play, though."

"Interesting anyways," Kinga said. "If you've seen us, then you already know that I play piano and sing and Max is on guitar. We're looking for a drummer and a bassist to go on tour across the country starting in a month and lasting for three months." Jonah and Ray looked at each other.

"You have that thing--" Ray started.

"No, this is the perfect reason to ditch, why would I want to go to another wedding--"

"She's gonna dump you, bro."

"She's gonna dump me anyways if I don't pop the question, and I won't."

"Then going on the run is--"

"How far is the tour going?" Jonah asked.

"Boston to LA."

"Perfect," Jonah said. Ray shook his head.

"You always do this."

"Irrelevant." Jonah walked over to the drum kit set up in one corner and sat down, then started adjusting things to suit his height. Ray shook his head again and sighed, then offered Kinga and Max a smile.

"I don't have anything holding me down and it looks like my brother's about to burn a bridge, so no problems there." He picked up the bass on the stand next to the piano and strummed it with a thoughtful look, then smiled again. "So? Name a tune." 

"You know Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin?" Kinga asked, cracking her knuckles. Jonah and Ray shared a glance.

"Isn't that out of your range?" Jonah asked. She glared at him.

"I think I can manage a tenor, thanks much. I'm assuming you know it if you know enough to object," she said, and launched into the piano intro without another word just to spite him. Given that she'd done spiteful things to everyone else who'd auditioned that day, Max just rolled his eyes. Jonah wasn't fazed, coming in right when he should, and Ray was silently laughing to himself as the guitar and bass picked up a measure later. 

Kinga didn't look up from the keys while she played and sang, but she rarely did. Max kept an eye on the twins, intrigued and amused by the way they made faces at each other as they played, and by the time they finished the song he was pretty sure that Ray was kinda goofy and Jonah was a little more solemn, that they both knew what they were doing, and that as long as they didn't turn out to be assholes the twin gimmick would probably be good for the band. Kinga picked up her not-really-coffee-anymore and took a long sip, then pursed her lips and stared at Jonah.

"A little sloppy," she said, and Max turned to arch a brow at her.

"Like you could do better playing by ear on a decade old song?" Jonah pushed his glasses up his nose and gave her a skeptical look. "Give me sheet music and time to practice and you'll never use that word to describe me again."

"Except after bar-hopping," Ray chimed in, "sloppy's a good word to use in that case."

"Shut it, Panda." Jonah flung a drumstick at his brother, who easily caught it and wiggled it chidingly.

"Ah ah, Sunshine, that's no way to behave at an audition." Kinga shot a look at Max, who could barely keep a smile off his face. He put his guitar down and came over to talk to her while the twins playfully sniped at each other.

"I didn't think he was sloppy," he said. "I kinda like them."

"You're too easy to please," she said, and he shrugged.

"We both have to agree."

"Hey," Kinga said loudly, getting matching attentive looks from the brothers. "Play whatever you want, we're just going to listen." Ray tossed the drumstick back to Jonah and they shared a look and a nod before Ray lifted the bass and started playing Seven Nation Army. Max leaned against the piano and stole Kinga's drink. She halfheartedly slapped at his hand, but was immediately distracted when Ray started to sing.

"I'm gonna fight 'em off, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back..." His voice was strong and true. There was no more goofing off. The brothers worked in perfect sync. Ray nodded at Max and glanced at his guitar a few bars before the guitar was supposed to kick in, and Max grinned and filled in the part. When the song was over, Kinga stood up, nodding.

"We're going to need to practice at least every other day to get you ready for touring," she said. "What are your schedules like?"

"We're self-employed," Jonah said. "Just let us know when you want us."

"She doesn't wake up before noon," Max said. "But she likes the rock star lifestyle. Figure we can start around three and go until midnight with a dinner break?"

"I don't wake up before noon when I do manage to get any sleep," Ray said. "So that suits me fine." 

"You busy now?" Kinga asked. 

"We could be," Ray said with a winning smile. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Celebratory sushi?"

"Celebratory sake bombs, you mean," Max muttered, and she elbowed him in the ribs. Jonah hid a laugh behind one hand as he stood up from the drum kit.

"We could eat sushi, right?"

"I can _always_ eat sushi," Ray said. "Actually, I've been in the mood for it. This is perfect."

"There's this great little place a couple blocks from here," Max said. "They use a lot of mango in their rolls..."

"Osaka," the twins chorused. "We're regulars there," Jonah continued. "Have you tried the Golden Apple Roll? It's the food of the gods, I swear."

"That's my favorite one," Max said, and Jonah grinned at him.

"Good taste."

"Come on then, I'm starving," Kinga said, grabbing her hoodie off the top of the piano and pulling it on. "You two are the first people we've seen all day that weren't totally hopeless and we've been at it for hours."

"We're definitely not totally hopeless," Jonah said as they left the practice space.

"Maybe like forty percent hopeless," Ray added.

"Please, you're more like seventy percent hopeless."

"Talk to me about hopeless after your ass gets dumped," Ray said with a snort.

"Low blow, Pandabro."

"What's with the nicknames?" Max asked. Ray pointed at his eyes and blinked.

"I have insomnia. Always have. I've had these circles under my eyes since I was a teenager."

"And Sunshine?" Kinga asked. Jonah shrugged.

"Yellow's always been my favorite color," he said. "And I used to be told I had a sunny disposition."

"Used to?" Max asked. 

"He still does," Ray said, throwing an arm around his twin's shoulders. "Just sometimes the mood weather gets overcast for a while."

"I'm fine as long as I stay busy," Jonah said. "And this should keep me busy enough for the next few months."

"We'll keep you very busy," Max said, and Jonah huffed a laugh and nodded. It didn't take long for the Hestons to pull ahead with their much longer legs, and Kinga leaned against Max, a little wobbly from the whiskey-with-a-splash-of-coffee she'd been sipping for a couple of hours. "You okay there?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she said. "What do you think about them?"

"They seem nice."

"A little too nice."

"You think anyone who's nice is too nice because you're never nice," he said, and she shrugged. "We'll have a better idea of what they're like after dinner."

Max didn't need to wait until after dinner to figure out that his initial assessment of the Hestons had been pretty close to the truth. Ray was silly, sometimes very silly, sillier with every cup of sake he had, and he lit up every time he made someone laugh. Jonah was far from serious except in comparison to his brother. They were both charming in a sweet, unassuming way, and the way they finished each others' sentences was actually kind of adorable. 

"You guys aren't half bad," Kinga said as she poured the last of the sake into her own cup. They'd settled the bill and now they were just lingering to talk. "A little weird--"

"You're one to talk," Max said.

"-- _not_ that that's a bad thing," she finished with an irritable glance at him. "You seem to be, uh, what's the word--"

"As long as the word isn't creepy," Ray said, and she arched a brow at him.

"No. You're not creepy."

"Some people think the twin thing is creepy," Jonah said. "That was worse when we looked even more similar."

"Which one of you is older?" Max asked, and Jonah lifted a finger. "Is the stubble to make you look older?"

"The stubble is because I'm lazy," Jonah replied with a grin. "I can't be bothered to shave every day. Ray's a little more fastidious about his appearance than I am."

"I like the glasses, though," Max said. "They suit you."

"Do you both have bad eyes?" Kinga asked. Ray shook his head.

"I got lasik surgery a few years back because I was sick of breaking my glasses."

"He went through a pair every six months or so," Jonah said. "I swore he was doing it on purpose, it happened so frequently."

"I was never doing it on purpose," Ray said. "I'm just a lot clumsier than Jonah is. And my luck is a little worse."

"Not always," Jonah said.

"My luck is worse in everything except matters of the heart," Ray corrected himself, and Jonah nodded. "But that's because Jonah can't end anything cleanly to save his life."

"Hey!"

"Are you going to tell Rach that you're taking off on tour or are you just going to vanish?"

"...I might tell her," Jonah said uncomfortably, and Ray gave him a skeptical look. "She gets violent, okay? I don't want to deal with it."

"Violent women can be hard to deal with," Max said with a significant glance at Kinga, who rolled her eyes and tipped back her cup. 

"I'm not that violent," she said. "I'll probably chill out now that I don't have to watch my bandmates making moony lovesick eyes at each other every time we're in the same room."

"You don't look very dangerous," Ray said, propping his head on his hands and smiling at her. "But you have that vibe anyways." 

"Thank you," she said. "You don't. You have a teddy bear vibe."

"Panda bear vibe," Jonah corrected, and Max shook his head.

"No, she's right. You both give off the teddy bear vibe."

"Is that good?" Ray asked. "Does that mean I look like a good cuddler? Because I am."

"She has a weird reaction to cuteness," Max warned him. "You might want to watch out."

"Don't you worry about me," Ray said, still smiling at Kinga. "I can handle myself around dangerous women." Jonah clapped a hand to his face when he laughed and tea spurted out of his nose, sending him into a coughing, sputtering fit. Ray gave him a perturbed look as he patted his brother's back, and Jonah took a second to catch his breath before he shook his head.

"No you can't, Panda. Please don't hurt my brother," he addressed Kinga. "He means well. And he's fragile."

" _I'm_ fragile," Ray repeated incredulously. "I'm fragile? You bruise like a peach, Sunshine."

"Emotionally fragile," Jonah said, and Ray frowned at him. "I'm not trying to put you down! I'm just saying... don't hurt him. You're looking at him like you want to."

"That's not how I'm looking at him," Kinga said. "The thought barely crossed my mind. But now that it has..." Ray blinked and sat up straight, and she smirked at him. "I think I'm ready to call it a night. Care to walk me to the curb to catch my rideshare?"

"If you like," he said, offering her his arm when they stood up and she swayed getting her footing. "Gosh, you must be a featherweight. We didn't have that much to drink."

"Honey, you have no idea," she said, leaning against him as they walked out of the restaurant. Max watched them go without blinking, then turned to Jonah with a wry expression.

"I think she likes him," he said.

"I think he likes her," Jonah retorted. "Should I grab him and escape to Cancun or is he going to survive this?"

"He'll probably be fine," Max said. "At least for the next four months. Maybe. Hopefully."

"Oh god," Jonah groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "I feel like I should have a bad feeling about this."

"Phrasing it that way means that you don't have one?" Jonah looked up over the rim of his glasses, a little surprised that Max parsed it right.

"No. Not yet."

"What feeling do you have about it, then?"

"It them, or it all of this?"

"Whichever."

"I feel hopeful," Jonah said. "This seems like the perfect opportunity for the two of us. We've been spinning our wheels for months since the last thing fell through. I take it harder than he does when we have nothing to do."

"Well, now you have something very time-consuming and likely emotionally taxing to take up all your idle runtime," Max said, and Jonah grinned at him. 

"I don't know how this will go, but I'm sure it's going to be interesting," he said, and Max lifted his teacup in salute.

"I'll drink to that." Ray came back then, one brow arched to find his brother and their new bandmate clinking cups.

"What did I miss?"

"What did she say to you?" Max asked without answering him. Ray bit his lip on a grin.

"She didn't say too much. She did squeeze my butt though."

"She gets handsy when she drinks..."

"Oh, I didn't mind," Ray said. "She said she'll see me tomorrow."

"I guess we're getting right into it then," Max said. "Works by me."

"Me too," Jonah said. "And while Ray can and will stay up until dawn, I have a normal human circadian rhythm and would like to go to sleep some time before 1 a.m. So I'm going home."

"Same," Max said. "I'll see the both of you tomorrow, then?"

"Bright and early," Ray said.

"Three p.m. is not early," Jonah said.

"But it will be bright," Ray said.

"It's supposed to rain tomorrow," Max said. "But that shouldn't matter if you're bringing Sunshine." Jonah looked startled and then laughed.

"We'll be there," he said, and stood up, unsurprised when Ray leaned against him. "See you, Max."

"Good night, guys." Max watched them go and slowly finished his tea. He agreed with Jonah: he felt like he should have a bad feeling about this, but all he felt was hopeful.


End file.
